One Line Humor

by Guest 3/11/2010 7:31:00 PM
SOME REAL GOOD LINERS……………………..CERTIFED FOR GENERAL VIEWING…..PARENTAL GUIDANCE NOT REQUIRED………!!!!!!!!!
 
>
> [1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while  driving.
>
> [2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
>
> [3]
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
>
> [4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they  wanted cash.
>
> [5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've  purchased new school uniforms.
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> [6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
>
> [7]
Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
>
> [8]
You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
>
> [9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
>
> [10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get  tired.
>
> [11]
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take  it anyway.
>
> [12]
My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees  with me.
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> [13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
>
> [14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
>
> [15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
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> [16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing  them.
>
> [17]
It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
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> [18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address  books.
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> [19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
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> [20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something
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> [21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!
>
> [22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
>  : Get married.
> Man: Will it help?
> Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.
>
> [23]
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
>
> [24]
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
> Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
>
> [25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs. Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
>
> [26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
>
> [27]
There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!
>
>
> "When opportunity knocks your door, please do not complain on noise" 

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